If we're about keeping it real and putting it out there I'd better kick off with who I am and why I'm here.
I'm Claire John and I know all about disconnect...so much so that it's become my mission to help women plug back into their best selves.
For a number of reasons, I grew up having to hold a lot of myself in and with a sense of not really belonging, not being good enough. It was the birth of what I know now as imposter syndrome.
I didn’t realise any of this at the time, but I was influenced by other people’s rules, values, social pressures and expectations. I was people pleasing and creating what I thought others wanted and needed me to be to avoid judgement, rejection and that F word. Failure.
I had a fixed mindset on steroids - you either have ‘it’ or you don’t so you’d better make sure that you don’t fuck up and get found out. My biggest fear was proving myself right!
But I had a spark inside and I wanted to thrive. There was a part of me that was all about growth. So much so that my desire to ignite my life, to change my experience, fuelled me into a highly competitive career in Public Relations. My career success and glam lifestyle was intrinsically linked to personal validation and my worth as a human being. But this took a lot of effort. Heaven forbid anything rocked the boat…rocked my career. Bloody Nora! What would that mean!?!
You can imagine this was a LOT of pressure.
Now, I was loving life when things were going well but I’d chosen an industry where managers were under a lot of pressure and weren’t that great at managing people (or their own self-esteem issues).
Time to introduce my Bully Boss.
If you’re (albeit unconsciously) believing that on some level you’re not good enough and that this whole thing could come down around your ears at any moment you’re not in a strong position. So, being bullied at work by my direct manager became a sort of validation of the ‘you don’t belong…you’re not good enough’ thing. Even though I’d guessed I was a sort of threat and her behaviour was about her shit and not mine I still let it in. I allowed the situation and her attacks to validate some of the stuff I was unconsciously believing. So, the solution? I worked harder and resorted to ‘people pleaser’ but of course this just made it worse and it fuelled her fire. It was like living 12 hours a day, 5 days a week with a manicured Jeykll and Hyde. The pressure became too much, I made a rash decision and I quit.
Overwhelming grief for my career and my identity struck with a vengeance along with uncertainty, crushed confidence and a sense of isolation. If my career success was validating my worth then I needed to style this thing out. I needed to jump into something else bloody pronto.
So I picked myself up and immediately retrained as a Personal Trainer. I felt marginally better, I was buff, healthy but the same issues remained. Yep, I didn’t feel I belonged here either. When I launched my business my heart wasn’t in it, I held back and I disappeared myself. I tried other stuff, I dabbled with other entrepreneurial ideas until eventually I started to work in my husband’s business. As you can imagine this made me feel even more of a failure – my mojo was meh.
I’d lost connection with me at my best, me when I’m fired up and all I could do was try and hide it. So, I thought it best to avoid the issue entirely and wait for something to change. Which of course it didn’t.
Then I had my daughter.
Taking inspiration from Spiderman...
‘with motherhood comes great responsibility’
…and a pile of bullshit, opinions, rules, must dos, need tos and should dos that we can’t possibly live up to. I battled it and my inner spark was shouting WHAT! NO! but the ‘not good enough’ would not submit.
Now if you’re a mum you may relate to the feeling of being in a room full of other mums and feeling totally separate. I was holding it all in again and the wheels fell off.
We’ve all heard the term ‘rock bottom’ and I realised that when I hit mine the only way was up. It was like a switch went off...ENOUGH ALREADY…I am not this person. I don’t want to feel and be this anymore and I certainly don’t want it for my daughter.
And so the journey began and it’s been a roller coaster.
I spent the next few years turning into rather than away from my ‘stuff’. I focused on developing myself, both personally and then professionally.
I’ve trained in different change work modalities including counselling skills, hypnotherapy and coaching. But I don’t consider myself to be any one of these things. I’m part of a community of change-makers that strive to be their best and help others to do the same.
It’s taken a while for me to realise I don’t need to play by the rules or give myself a label…whose rules? There are no flipping ‘rules’! This is all an illusion.
I’m on a mission to help you see through your particular illusion, to connect with your MOJO, to become the creator of your life and the person you want to be.
What do I do now?
Sometimes you’re not sure whether you need some sort of therapy or more fun, freedom and fulfilment. Well, what if aiming for fun, freedom and fulfilment actually became therapy.
I’m all about helping you make connections so you can start creating your life to the full.
- Connection with yourself…exploring, unblocking, shifting, revealing…you at your best
- Connection with others…people who fire up your energy and have your back as you move forwards
- Connection with your brain and body. Your brain isn’t accurate - it’s a highly sophisticated bit of kit but its prone to develop habits, to using info and strategies that are waaaay out of date and it guesses what's going on most of the time. Stop being ‘had’ by thoughts, feelings, beliefs and learn how you can create a better experience.
What your mind can create your mind really can change
Feel better, be better, live better