The summer holiday ticking time bomb
Do you have that feeling that time is catching up with you as the summer holiday whizzes by?
Perhaps you know that change is looming but you feel stuck?
Perhaps you’re thinking about your future and finding it a bit uncomfortable?
Maybe it's time we took some tips from the kids!
Just think for a moment about how youngsters work out what to do and how to do it. They don’t wait for life’s instruction manual, they just get on with stuff. They play, learn and develop by having fun and having a go. If you’re feeling uncomfortable I bet my mortgage you’re going about things with a sense of “this is serious’. Heaven forbid you get it wrong…you have to get it right… you have to be sure.
Sound familiar? Well, if it does I'm not surprised you feel completely stuck at times.
There are problems with seeing things in a ‘shit or bust’ way.
- Firstly, how can you be sure of anything when you don’t know? You’re also not going to get to know by over thinking it…over and over again. I’ve been there and trust me it doesn’t get you very far.
- Secondly, the more stressed you get, the less clear you will be. Stress = headless chicken, head fog.
- Thirdly, we start to look outside of ourselves for answers. Now there’s nothing wrong with looking for inspiration but comparing ourselves to others or focusing on what we think we ‘should’ be doing is not going to lead to a warm, fuzzy, fulfilled feeling.
Imagine you’re 18 again and you’re deciding what to do for the rest of your life. What college to go to, what course to take, what career path to follow. Do you think you should consider this as a shit or bust decision (get it wrong and you might as well throw in the towel)? Or would you want this version of yourself to adopt a more resilient, growth orientated mind-set that encourages you to learn, to adapt, to have fun and to persevere until you achieve your goal. Some of the most successful and inspiring people I know are not doing exactly what they originally set out to do. In fact, to get where they are, they’ve dabbled, dipped toes, jumped in, got out and fallen on their arse a good few times.
Imagine a child learning to walk or talk or do anything for that matter. If they just sat there waiting for divine inspiration they’re not going to get very far. Sure, they learn from watching others but they can’t actually learn to do it themselves until they experience it. They play with it. They fall over. They work out how to balance and how to put one foot in front of the other. The more they do this the better they get...and then they’re on to running and climbing trees.
How does it feel if, for a moment, you imagine living life 10% more playfully? Dabbling, experimenting, learning. This doesn’t mean that we’re not serious about what we want, our goals, it just means that we’re going to take the stress out. It means we don’t take ourselves so seriously.
Someone said to me recently how did you get unstuck? (and trust me there was a time that I was bloody stuck)! How did you choose a new career? How did you choose your training? How did you get where you are? How did you decide?
Well after much ‘thinking’ and going around in circles I came to the conclusion that I needed to do something. I started by taking some small steps down a particular path. I learnt skills, developed my understanding and took some bigger steps…and then I hit a stumbling block. Something wasn’t sitting right, decisions had to be made and I needed to tweak my path. At the time I found this hard to stomach. Am I doing the right thing? Have I made a mistake? What if I get the next decision wrong? This isn’t the ‘conventional’ way of doing things.
So I took a deep breath and just went with it….I continued to study and practice different theories, methodologies, approaches. I grew in more ways than I thought possible. I found my own path.
The reality was that every course and path ‘tweak’ taught me something and I would not be who I am now if I hadn’t experimented and continue to experiment. How could I know what would resonate? What my style of working would be? What I love to do? What I’m good at?
There is one thing that you can be sure about…the best way to stay stuck is to do nothing. You can’t fail to move forwards if you do something!
So, get out of your head and take your first steps…and know, really know, that it’s ok to fall over. In fact, if you’re doing it right, you’re going to :-)
If you're ready to get playful with the next chapter of your life then lets have a no obligation, dipping the toe, experiment of a conversation and explore what's going on for you.